This morning I awoke to the sun streaming into my window hitting my eyes. I looked at the clock and realized that the 9:00 hour was upon me. How did I sleep for so long?
I slowly rolled over relishing the treasured moment. The house was so still and quiet. Derrick was gone to work, and the girls were still staying with friends.
We, Derrick and myself, had just returned from Phoenix. We had been there running some errands and got in very late last night. Although the trip was a whirlwind, full of activity, it also was very nice. It was fun just being the "two of us" again.
With that in mind, I realized that having just the "two of us" feeling would soon come to an end because I needed to get up and go and retrieve the girls. I hesitated for awhile. I loved just having nothing on my mind and the silence of the house.
Each time I thought of calling the girls, other thoughts of just a little longer kept creeping into my mind. Soon, two hours had passed, and I knew that I couldn't stop the inevitable from happening.
My palms were sweaty, knots appeared in my stomach, and my heart rate went up. Although I love and adore my girls, I wasn't ready to enter that mommy role quite yet.
I picked up the phone, dialed, and no answer. I texted, and found out that the MyMy had gone hiking and would be gone for the day. I then called the LuLu and realized that she was not ready to come home yet either. Couldn't she stay for just a little longer? I reluctantly said yes.
I got off the phone thinking that this should be my moment. That I should be the luckiest person alive. But all I felt was disappointment. I miss my girls. I haven't seen or spoken to them in two days. I wanted to know how their school days went. What did they eat? Did they have fun with their friends. Were they feeling okay? I wanted to give them hugs, see their smiles and hear their laughs.
How did my thoughts and feelings change so quickly? Being a mom is probably the hardest job I have ever held. Being a mom is the best job I have ever held. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
And that, my friends, is my.... Aha moment.