It lately has been difficult to gain a sense of peace. Life has been too chaotic and busy for my taste, and it has left me feeling disjointed and detached. I have longed for a sense of calm and renewal. I have longed for a feeling of relief and of peace.
The temple always seems to bring me that. In fact, those feelings manifested themselves so strongly on my last visit I didn't want to leave. I knew that the world around me would once again be busy, chaotic and the rumblings and murmurs of life would fill my mind again. The peaceful, calm feelings within lasted for a day or two, but as life evolved, the feelings soon dissapated and I was left feeling disjointed and undone.
Last Wednesday those feelings changed. I crept out of bed and slipped outside early to work in my backyard. I mowed, trimmed, weeded, planted, fertilized, mulched, hauled, cleared, raked and hoed. My body ached from head to toe, and I was covered in sweat, dirt, scrapes and scratches, yet, I felt so good. My mind was clear, and I was at peace. I couldn't get over at how alive the desert really was. Birds, of all kinds, were singing their songs of delight in the trees. Quail and roadrunners were visiting; tempting closeness as I worked. Lizards scurried along as I uncovered their homes. Hummingbirds flitted from tree to tree. Ants crawled, bees swarmed, and even a ground squirrel poked his head out of its hole. Butterflies, with bright yellow colors dropped in frequently too. I still didn't uncover any earthworms, but my garden soil is beginning to smell like dirt and the color is getting darker too.
I don't know if it was the smell of the citrus trees, or the songs from the birds, but I felt very close to my Heavenly Father. Nature has a tendency to do that for me. I guess it is because I have always marveled at His creations and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude to Him for making such a beautiful world; even in a dry, hot and brown desert. I guess I needed that slight little nudge; to be reminded of Him,and that I need Him in my life, always, to be at peace.
Thanks for the tender mercy, or loving reprimand. I needed it.