Monday, May 11, 2009

On Becoming a Mother



I will never forget my first night at college. It had been a few hours since my parents had dropped me and my belongings off, and I was sitting on my bed surrounded by my new roommates. We were getting to know each other and we were very excited that we were beginning a new adventure and taking the first steps of our own adult lives.

That night we talked about dreams, plans for the future, hopes and wishes. I remember being the odd-man out because everyone else had hoped for the chance to marry and become a mother very, very soon. I on the other hand was very excited to test out my wings and fly a little before settling down and becoming a mother. I finished school in 4 years, and had the time of my life, while many of my girlfriends had married and had started their families.

It wasn't until I began teaching that I realized how important a mother's role is in a child's life. I hated seeing children sleeping in the sickroom because their mother could not leave work to pick them up. I also felt bad for the children who did not have their mother's attend special activities because of other priorities. What the mother never saw was their child's pain because of their absence. Although it took me longer to come to my senses about becoming a mother, teaching helped me to understand that I wanted to be a mother and not only by name.

That much I knew, but I didn't know where to go from there. So, I spent some time reflecting on what I did know- I had a mother and what could I learn from her?

My mother was always available to her kids. She brought in treats for school activities, taught about Finland to school groups, took us to the library, park and zoo. She taught us how to clean, how to take care of others, and how to be prudent. My mother took great care of us when we were sick. She worked so hard sewing clothes, canning food, and making a lovely home for all of us to enjoy and feel comfortable in. My mother also made holidays seem very special and memorable. Most of all, she loved us.

I figured that the qualities my mother had would make a great start at becoming a wonderful mother myself. I didn't realize then, that becoming a mother in itself, was going to be quite the task. But, after many years of tears, prayers, and patience, the wonderful opportunity of becoming a mother came on December 23, 2000.

It was an amazing and surreal moment for me. I could not believe that Heavenly Father would entrust me with this sweet, precious child. I knew then that the responsibility of becoming a mother was huge, but, it was a job worth tackling. As time has gone by, I have realized what a huge sacrifice of being a mother truly is. It is many hours of sometimes thankless work, and you never ever have a free moment. Which is why I need to thank my mother and mother-in-law for their selfless and loving service and sacrifice. They truly deserve a lifetime of happiness!

Back to the story........

A few years later, I became a mother again through the gift of adoption. This opportunity presented itself in a very different way. The precious child, was then 10, and had never had a mother. Once again, I felt the overwhelming task of becoming a mother, entrusted by both a Heavenly Father and a birth father this time, to raise, teach and love this child in the short time we have her before she becomes a mother herself. Sometimes the task seems daunting and difficult, but then I get small smiles, little notes, and even once in awhile sweet gestures, which help me to feel I might be on the right track.

Lastly, I never realized what joy of becoming a mother truly is. Children truly are gifts from God, and each day we have with them not only is a blessing, but it also teaches us and humbles us. I truly have loved being a mother. It is the role I most treasure, the hardest job I have ever had, and the one that brings me the most happiness.

I am thankful for having such a wonderful role model to follow- my very own sweet mother, and for the mother who raised an awesome son to be a loving and kind husband and father.

Happy Mother's Day today and always!