Silence in the room except for the hum of the refrigerator and the dropping of ice.
Sunlight beaming in through the closed blinds.
A crisp morning walk that seemed somewhat familiar, yet still far away.
Breathing in slowly and cautiously hoping that each part of my body can relax.
The muscles in my jaw are clenched so tight, I can still feel the pressure clear to my toes.
I really haven't done anything in the last 15 hours and still I am finding it difficult to unwind.
The laundry, the floors, the smell in the fridge are still waiting Impatiently for their turn.
The lesson plans, uncorrected papers, PTA budget and soccer mom items are furiously taunting my mind.
The husband and children are away, leaving me free from their demands, at least for awhile.
They will be home tonight longing for food, looking for clothing and demanding my listening ear of their overnight adventures.
I am hoping to be calm, cool, collected, smiling and refreshed- ready to jump in and once again be what they expect.
Most likely I will be able to pull it off- the smiles, the laughter, the calmness and collected, meeting demands both high and low, knowing that I can't fool myself- My head is barely staying above water.
On my knees I go- praying for strength and wanting the warmth of His arms around me.
I hear Him telling me that I am not alone. I can do it. I have done it and that I need to do it.
"I know," I whisper, " and I will."
Tears are streaming down my face as I feel His love and His strength. I am humbled and thankful.
The morning is fading ever so quickly. I realize that I need to begin, or I will not be finished and ready.
I will, but not until I have posted my thoughts and feelings. I do not want to forget. So I do.
